A question was posed to me at the weekend “How are you taking personal responsibility and looking inwards” Cue sharp intake of breath and a day or so letting myself marinade in this. See I actually pride myself in doing this but like everything it’s a work in progress, I’m a work in progress and its called work for a reason right? You need to keep your awareness, your consciousness around living life fully. But, looking inwards: that’s something I have let slip recently in my personal relationship. This relationship is one of my biggest achievements, one of the areas I have done the most work on and one of the most fulfilling things I have ever experienced.

I let something that happened recently trigger a reaction from my pride, and wanting to be right. In this situation I was purely coming from ego. I totally get that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience and in that comes highs and lows. When I stopped and listened to what my partner was saying instead of just repeating my inner monologue of wanting to be right, I could hear – my behaviour was causing him to feel the same way as I was perceiving his behaviour was making me feel. No one makes you feel anything right? You always have a choice. But past hurts from previous experiences and fear of losing something can cloud all the amazing work you have put in.

So I did what I needed to do. Breathed deeply. Let the negative feelings pass through and not cling on to them. Considered what I wanted to feel and how my reactions were countering my desired feelings. Affirmed this and connected with my Higher Self for guidance.

I took responsibility when I really looked inwards. It was really clear. I was not giving what I was expecting. The moment I took responsibility and spoke to my partner was the end of feeling I needed to be right. We both took responsibility for our actions and reactions and it felt good. Actually way better than the self-righteous feeling of being “right” that momentary high five of saying I told you so.

So I’m grateful, always, to being in a relationship that encourages me to grow even when it feels scary, for my Soul Confidence practice for the inner and outer work, and for being part of Damsels in Success, a community that asks “how are you taking personal responsibility” and to me, for owning my shit (Even if it feels sticky and takes a day or two. Even when I want to be “right”)


I would love to know what your experiences around taking personal responsibility are. Do you look inwards to make different choices? Do you battle with being “right” and being happy? For added accountability why dont you comment and share your experiences, bad, good, ugly it’s all good!

Want to go further? Simply comment below OR drop me an email on kara.soulconfidence@gmail.com if you would like the FREE journal worksheet to go alongside this with some amazing tips and techniques on how to take personal responsibility and some affirmations and intentions to help when it feels a bit sticky!

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